


more than friends

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Implied Ryden, M/M, its not the main focus, joshler - Freeform, sarah and beeb are together also, side jalex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-10 09:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 13,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5579791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>tyler watched as he leaned into her slightly, kissing her.<br/>"i love you".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

"hi yes can i get one chalupa combo?" tyler asked the worker at taco bell, thumbing through his wallet. he handed over his credit card, waiting for the person to slide it in the machine and hand it back. the worker nodded after the exchange, handing tyler a cup and walking back to the kitchen to grab his order. tyler sighed as he flipped around on the counter, shoving his hands in his pockets and facing the mostly deserted tables. the cup was sitting behind him, unused for the moment. a few minutes later the worker came back, starting to call for somebody to grab the bag. tyler reached for it, just wanting to get out of there. to his surprise, somebody else had come for it as well, and now their hands were touching.

tyler overcame his initial panic, looking the other person in the eyes.

"oh, uh, hi," a boy about tyler's height said, drawing his lip into his mouth quickly. tyler noticed his lip ring clinked slightly on his teeth.

"order for josh dun," the worker finally said about their current situation, smirking and grabbing another bag.

"this one is for tyler joseph," she said smugly, walking off.

neither tyler or josh had moved their hands from the bag, keeping the prolonged eye contact until finally tyler reached for his.

"what did you get?" the boy, presumably josh, smiled.

"a chalupa combo. you?" tyler asked, grabbing his cup and walking over to the drink machine.

"oh, just two beef and cheese tacos," josh shrugged, following tyler.

"hey, kind of a weird question, but wanna sit together? i think we both came alone," josh said, curiously eying tyler. tyler shrugged, taking a sip of his pepsi and walking to a table.

"thanks for the yes," josh said happily, sliding into the seat across from the quiet boy.

they ate in silence for a while, josh staring intently at tyler's arms, and, presumably, his tattoos.

"dude, just take a picture already," tyler said, flexing his arm dramatically. josh giggled slightly, blushing a bit.

"no wait, like this," tyler posed again, causing josh to laugh even harder. tyler kept doing different poses and josh was breathless by the time he stopped laughing, finally calming down when tyler told him people were watching.

ever since then, tyler had never left josh's side. the time he joined a band as a touring drummer, all the late night gaming sessions, the time he ripped out his lip ring, his first tattoo, dying his hair for the first time, they even went to both of their homecomings together. they were so close that they joked about dating, even eating food out of eat other's hands and sexually moaning from each other's rooms to traumatize their siblings.

nobody had known tyler without josh or josh without tyler since before they were 16. they were a package deal, and if one didn't like you, you could bet the other shared the opinion.

for this reason, they didn't tend to have many other friends. but that didn't matter. they had each other.


	2. chapter 2

josh was waling on his drums like he did every single other afternoon when he heard the loud text tone he had set for tyler.

**hey**

josh stopped playing to check his phone. he furrowed his eyebrows as he read the seemingly pointless text.

**should i come over?**

he typed back.

**ya. working on a new song.**

josh left his basement, running up the stairs and out the front door to his car in the driveway. whatever tyler was writing, it always sounded good.

josh turned up the radio as he left the driveway, remembering that one time tyler's car radio was stolen while they were at a funeral and they had to sit in silence the rest of the drive. josh was forced to drive because it was too much for his friend. in the end josh had the brilliant idea to just turn his itunes library on shuffle and let tyler make fun of his oddly assorted music choices. josh smiled. any time he could spend with tyler was fun. he drove on to tyler's street and up to the curb in front of his house.

before josh could even knock tyler yanked the door open, beckoning him in.

"what's the rush?" josh asked as he threw his jacket on tyler's couch.

"it's a good one," tyler said, taking josh's hand and pulling him downstairs to the joseph's basement. tyler was 21, and all of his siblings had moved out besides him.

tyler took a seat at the piano bench, josh taking his customary spot on the coffee table in front of the downstairs couch. he pulled his feet up to be criss-cross, leaning forward on his knuckles and closing his eyes. tyler glided his hands over the keys, finding the right spots for all of them. he took a deep breath.

light notes filled the air, tyler's hands easily moving over the ivory keys.

_open the slits in your face and start your day,_

he started slowly.

_you don't have time to make your slits look just right,_

_i'm in your mind,_

_i'm singing la da, la da, la da..._

he continued singing, eventually playing the keys harder and singing louder. josh was amazed. this had to be the best one tyler had ever made.

_and in your mind,_

_you're singing..._

josh opened his eyes, watching as tyler played the last few notes. his eyes were closed as he sang the very last word, popping them open. he turned his head slowly to josh, eyes pleading for his opinion. josh's eyes welled up. he stood up, sitting next to tyler on the bench and hugging him close.

"that was so beautiful," he said, hearing the imprint of the song still in his mind.

"th-thanks josh," he stuttered as he hugged josh back.

"y'know, this one was actually for you," he said after a while, rubbing little circles into josh's back. josh just hugged him tighter, sobbing quietly.

"thanks," he said once the crying had stopped. they stayed in their hug for a long time, just enjoying each other's presence.


	3. chapter 3

josh laid on his bed that night, lost and confused. tyler had written a song about him, _for_ him. he held him in a hug for half an hour. after that they stayed in the basement, watching their favorite movies as a light drizzle hummed on outside. josh felt truly safe and loved. but that was the problem.

he sighed. now he didn't know how he felt about tyler, the boy he had been best friends with for four years. in the entire time they'd been friends neither of them had gotten girlfriends, it had always just been the two of them. always. no competition. girls had tried to date tyler plenty of times, but he rejected every one of them. josh sighed again. he'd think about this in the morning.

-

tyler let silent tears leak from his eyes. he finally performed the song for josh that he'd started writing months ago. he _liked_ it. tyler had been trying to work up the courage to play that one in front of josh for so long, but it was hard when it was _about_ him. tyler put his palm to his face, breathing heavily into it. the boy he'd had a crush on since senior year of high school had cuddled up next to him today, watching movies and giggling and being generally adorable. _whatever._ he hadn't even come out to josh yet. he sighed, resolving to at least come out to him tomorrow. it was the least he could do.

-

josh woke up, rubbing his eyes and yawning. he rolled out of bed, walking to the bathroom and getting ready for his job at the record store. while he showered that morning, he had an amazing idea.

"what's this about josh," tyler sighed as he picked up his phone.

"somebody's pessimistic today. anyway, meet me at the starbucks near my work at 4, okay?" he asked excitedly, bouncing at his chair at the cash register.

"sure," tyler said. _perfect._

"okay, love you bye!" josh said enthusiastically as he hung up and continued his work day. at three forty-five he left the shop and walked quickly towards the coffee shop.

"can i have one tall pumpkin spice latte and one grande caramel chip frap?" josh asked the barista as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket. the barista nodded.

"eight dollars and seventeen cents please," the small orange-haired girl said pleasantly.

josh handed over the money. she slid his card and handed it back to him, heading back to make the coffees. a couple minutes later she returned smiling, handing him the two drinks.

"thank you!" he said as he walked off to a booth for him and tyler to share. he sat down and waited. tyler showed up not a minute past four, punctual as usual. he glanced around the coffeehouse quickly, easily spotting josh's bright red hair. he smiled as he walked over, sliding into the booth and scooting right next to josh.

"you didn't get me a brownie?" tyler acted offended as he took a sip from his coffee. josh just smiled.

"hey so-" he was cut off by tyler piping up.

"i have something to say after you, okay?" he said, making eye contact with josh. startled from the sudden seriousness in tyler, he only nodded and gave a quick thumbs-up.

"anyway, tyler, do you want to move in together?" he asked, the regular spark in his eyes back in full force. tyler was somewhat startled by the proposal.

"uh, sure, actually, yeah dude!" he got more and more enthusiastic as he thought about the prospect of living with josh. josh smiled so widely that tyler wasn't even positive he could see anything.

"nice! this'll be so fun! should i start looking up apartments tonight?" josh asked, turning his face to tyler. neither of them had noticed, but somehow in their small freakout they'd migrated even closer together. their faces were an inch apart.

"hey," tyler whispered, once again serious. josh caught his eye, holding him in a warm stare.

"what i wanted to tell you earlier, um," he started nervously, breaking the eye contact. josh gently brought his hand up to tyler's chin, directing his gaze back to his eyes.

"is that i'm bisexual?" tyler got out, raising his voice at the end of the statement. josh's eyes momentarily widened.

"nice!" he said again, smiling and turning to take a sip of his somewhat abandoned coffee.

"...that's it?" tyler asked him, jaw slacked. josh shrugged.

"yeah, pretty much," he said, typing home-buying websites into his now lit up phone.

tyler was in shock, mouth struggling to form words. he smiled, slinging an arm around his best friend and leaning on his shoulder, watching as he scrolled through the multitudes of apartments available in the area.


	4. chapter 4

tyler hummed happily as he drove into the parking lot of an apartment complex to view an apartment with josh. they had been to a few other appointments so far, but no dice. tyler had a good feeling about this one.

"here we are," he chirped as he moved the stick shift to park. josh smiled, pushing open his car door and standing upright. he waited for tyler, who took a little bit longer to get out.

"c'mon slow poke," josh joked, walking a few steps away from the car.

"god, just hold on one second," tyler said, clicking his phone off and standing up. josh smiled as he walked around the car, throwing his arm around tyler, who blushed. they walked up the stairs and into the front door together, josh finally retracting his arm.

"hello!" their perky realtor said, hopping out of the chair he was sitting in previously. josh chuckled under his breath, following the brown-haired man up the stairs.

"ryan slow down," tyler heaved after running up three flights of stairs.

"weak," josh smiled and sprinted up the one remaining flight. tyler grumbled to himself as he finally made it up the last few stairs. josh was waiting for him, putting his arm around the heavily breathing boy once more. tyler hoped he couldn't notice how his heart beat just a little bit faster when he did.

ryan unlocked the door to the apartment, moving his arm out in a welcoming gesture. josh gently guided tyler by the shoulders into the house, stopping to close the door behind them. tyler gasped when he saw it, moving away from josh and breaking their contact. josh sprinted off to the kitchen, tyler opting to look at the three bedrooms. ryan smiled successfully as he watched them scamper around like children through the empty apartment.

josh and tyler both ended up in the master bathroom at the same time, josh thinking of a question suddenly. he grabbed tyler's wrist, dragging him out to the living room to see ryan.

"hi, question, can we play instruments in here?" he asked, tilting his head slightly. tyler mentally slapped himself for not remembering to ask about that.

"i believe so, just not past 10 p.m." ryan responded, shuffling through some papers on a clipboard and scratching his small amount of beard scruff in thought. josh turned his head to tyler, smiling.

"we could use the farthest room in the hall for instruments, the master bedroom, and then we could both take the other two rooms, and you can have the master bathroom, and then we can have a couch right here," josh started rattling things off and pointing while tyler giggled. he was still holding tyler's wrist, sliding his hand down ever so slightly to take his hand and squeeze it lightly.

"should we take it?" tyler whispered to him. josh nodded, grinning widely.

"one more question," josh said suddenly, turning away from tyler and back to ryan. he looked up, taken slightly off guard.

"mhm?" he mumbled.

"can we have a cat?" josh grinned once more, tyler rolling his eyes.

"i'm sure you can."

"we'll take it then."


	5. chapter 5

tyler sighed loudly as he packed even more stuff into boxes. _how did i even have this much stuff in one room?_

he continued distractedly working until his phone went off in his pocket, tearing his attention away from the task at hand.

**hey dude wanna come help me i have like 80 million things to pack**

tyler smiled at the excuse, stepping out of his room and out the door to his car. he drove the short way from his house to josh's, racing up his driveway and to the door. he didn't even knock, just opening the door and nodding to laura as he continued to josh's room. this door he did knock on gently before opening, seeing josh lying in a pile of clothes on the floor and looking at something on his phone.

"dude, you're kidding right?" he asked as he glanced around the messy room. josh groaned and covered his face with his arm.

"okay i've been trying to pack all morning but it's just so boring," he said, rolling around on the floor. tyler got hold of one of the shirts underneath him, quickly ripping it out and causing josh to groan again. tyler started folding the shirt, setting it on the desk beside him and grabbing josh's suitcase from his closet. josh watched on silently as he took the shirt and set it in the bag. tyler moved his eyes expectantly from the bag to josh, crossing his arms tightly on his chest.

"who are you, my mom?" josh mumbled as he got up, folding his shirts and occasionally sending sour looks tyler's way. they continued working in an empty silence, tyler folding jeans while josh kept up with the shirts. tyler smiled widely, having come up with an idea. josh worked on, having stopped paying attention to tyler a while ago.

"hey hey you you, i don't like your girlfriend," tyler quietly sang, knowing full well that josh wouldn't be able to resist carrying on the song.

"no way, no way i think you need a new one," josh continued as expected, cracking a small smile.

"hey hey you you, i could be your girlfriend," tyler kept up the song, slightly louder than before.

"hey hey you you, i know that you like me!" josh sang the line out, gathering other things in his room into boxes now. he didn't notice, but tyler had a blush crawling over his cheeks.

"no way, no way it's not a secret!" tyler started singing into josh's long abandoned hair straightener, throwing it back into a box.

"hey hey you you i wanna be your girlfriend!" josh shouted, giggling as tyler air-guitared where the interlude would be.

"you're so fine i want you mine you're so delicious!" they yelled together, laughing after the line. they skipped over a few, starting back up again when the giggles were under control.

"hell yeah i'm the motherfucking princess!" they screamed again in sync, ignoring their cleaning duties for the moment.

they continued parts of the song, but for the most part they were laughing too much to get anything out. after they had been quiet for a while, josh's mom peeked her head in the room.

"what the hell were you thinking?" she asked, to which josh and tyler only laughed more.


	6. chapter 6

tyler bounced on his heels as he waited for the moving van in front of josh's house with him. they both had their things all out on the curb and in the lawn, surmounting to about fifteen boxes and three suitcases combined. josh watched out of the corner of his eye as tyler continued his anxious movements, gently biting his lip. following this, he reached his arm around tyler's shoulders, planting his feet firmly on the ground for him. he pulled on his left shoulder just slightly, pulling them closer together. tyler sighed as he rested his head on josh, mumbling a quick "thanks".

tyler was warmer standing _right_ next to josh, stopping his constant shivering. while they waited, josh pointed out funny looking leaves on the ground.

"that one looks kinda like a turtle," he said about an oddly green leaf for the season. tyler cracked a small smile.

"you're only saying that because it's _green_ ," he said, rolling his eyes. josh shrugged.

"i mean, you're not wrong," josh looked over at tyler. he was still smiling, and his mouth was especially pink from the cold weather they had been standing in for the past thirty minutes. he was staring at his mouth, subconsciously inching forward when the van finally pulled up. tyler's face lit up as he stepped forward, gesturing to where it should stop. josh sighed quietly as he walked behind them to grab some boxes. tyler talked to the driver, getting on his tiptoes and leaning into the window. josh happened to stand up as he was doing so, seeing where tyler's shirt had started to ride up on his back. he swallowed hard, walking to the back end of the van and waiting for him to get it all sorted out.

tyler nodded one last time, turning to the back of the truck where josh was and shouting at him.

"lift the back cover slide-y thing up and start putting stuff in!"

josh obeyed, opening the truck with one hand and throwing the box in with the other. after a few trips, josh and tyler had gotten all of their stuff off of the lawn, josh jumping into the truck to close it. he got an idea.

"should i stay back here?" he asked with a small smile.

tyler giggled to himself as he replied, "go for it pal," grabbing the door and pulling it down, enclosing josh in the darkness. he sat down near where the cab was, leaning his head against the wall. there was mostly silence as the van started rolling, josh starting to zone out.

"so, if i've say, had a crush on, um, my long-term best friend, do you think i should tell him?" tyler suddenly asked the driver, turning his head to the blonde-haired man.

"i dunno man, do you think he likes you back?" mark asked. he had been tyler and josh's friend in high school, but they clearly weren't that close.

"that's the thing..." tyler muttered, sighing as he looked out the window. they sat in silence for a while, mark moving to turn up the radio.

 _wise men say..._ elvis' smooth voice floated out.

tyler just watched the scenery fly by too fast through the window, wondering if he would ever get the courage to tell josh how he felt. but little did tyler know, josh was listening to the song through the thin metal that separated them, thinking of the same thing.


	7. chapter 7

"hey sleepyhead," tyler snickered as he hopped into the back of the van. josh groaned as he slowly moved his head forward.

"don't ever lean against a truck on the bumpy highway," he said quietly, shaking his head slightly and pinching the bridge of his nose. tyler only chuckled, hugging josh.

"don't worry, since we're best friends _your_ graines are _our_ graines," he explained in an attempt to cheer him up. josh laughed lowly, leaning a little too much into the hug to be considered friendly. mark jumped up into the van suddenly, startling the both of them.

"cool, i'm cursing the government and all for having so many potholes, but you're paying hourly for the van," he shrugged, grabbing a box to try and help out. blushing, tyler pulled away from their embrace and picked up both of the suitcases, carefully stepping out of the van and into the tall apartment complex. josh watched him almost hungrily, grasping a couple light boxes and following suit.

after a while, all the boxes were in the living room, scattered about. it was late evening by then, and both the boys were exhausted.

"wanna crash on the floor?" josh suddenly blurted out, rubbing his eyes. tyler shrugged, ripping open a parcel near him to grab out a blanket and two pillows. he threw one to josh, placing the other on the ground for him. throwing off his shoes and taking off his coat and beanie, he curled up, waiting for josh. suddenly realizing they were sharing a blanket, josh threw off all his clothes but his shirt and skinny jeans, tossing his pillow next to tyler's and laying next to him. the right corner of the blanket was given to josh, allowing him to wrap it around his backside comfortably.

"love you night tyler," he hummed, keeping his distance still. tyler just groaned in response, pulling josh's arms tightly around him. unused to the sudden close contact, josh inhaled sharply. tyler was shuffling around slightly still, getting comfortable. unfortunately, this involved him moving his butt. repeatedly. against josh. he gulped and tried to ignore the growing uncomfortableness coming from _down there._ tyler finally decided to reply.

"love you too man."


	8. chapter 8

josh woke up to the quiet noise of a bubbling coffee pot. yawning and rolling over, he sat up onto his elbows.

"morning princess," tyler's gravelly voice came from the kitchen. josh smiled, keeping his eyes closed.

"morning to you too, my handsome prince," he joked, sitting up fully and stretching. what he hadn't noticed in his sleepy stupor to the kitchen was tyler's light blush. suddenly uncomfortable in the hot room, josh pulled his shirt off up over his head and threw it on the island. tyler watched with the eyes of a hawk as he reached down into a box, grabbing them two coffee mugs. he hummed along to some popular song at the moment as he walked slowly back. the coffee pot beeped loudly, taking tyler out of his trance.

he grabbed the mugs from josh, tipping the pot to them both. josh frowned at the strong black coffee for a moment before reaching into a bag and grabbing some sugar. he examined some of the other contents, noticing that they only had ranch dressing, a frozen pizza, and two boxes of mac and cheese.

"we need to go shopping," he accidentally said out loud. tyler nodded, making eye contact through the steam of his drink. the cup was at eye level on him, making the small cat mouth on the cup appear to be part of his face. josh noticed this and burst out laughing. without even knowing what it was about, tyler joined in.

"what?" he asked breathily through short giggles.

"the face on the cup looked like yours!" josh said after he calmed down a bit. tyler rolled his eyes and strode out of the kitchen.

"whatever, i'm gonna get dressed," he said, still laughing under his breath. josh came to a full stop after a short while, following tyler down the hall and to his room.

they both got dressed, tyler finishing a few minutes before josh.

"hurry up i'm leaving you," tyler said as he stood at the door.

"i'm fixing my hair, calm down!" josh yelled back.

"what hair?" tyler snorted, watching josh's face as he turned the bend to the front door. after what tyler had said set in, his jaw dropped, eyebrows furrowing.

"i hate you," he muttered as he breezed into the hall past tyler, gently punching him in the chest. tyler chuckled to himself at the joke, watching his feet move rhythmically against the flat carpet. when he looked up he noticed josh had turned around, holding up his right hand in an-oh. tyler rushed forward giggling, grabbing josh's hand and pulling it down.

"we live next to old ladies!" tyler whisper-shouted, struggling to keep josh's hand lowered.

"make me," josh growled quietly. in the two seconds between their responses, the tension had risen to the point of no return. tyler wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"take that you monster," tyler said as he held josh's hand, swinging it gently as they finally reached the elevators. whatever had come over them only seconds before was gone now.

josh hummed along to the song that was stuck in his head earlier, watching tyler press the button for the lobby.

" _for all the times that you've made me feel small_ ," tyler quietly sang along to the song as he stepped in the elevator, dragging josh with him.

" _i fell in love, now i feel nothin' at all_ ," he continued slightly louder in the isolation of the small room.

" _had never felt so low when i was vulnerable_ ," he whispered. he glanced over to josh.

" _was i a fool to let you break down my walls_?" he was hardly breathing the song now, startled when there was a sudden ding and the doors in front of them opened. josh took a small step forward, pulling tyler gently along behind him.

" _cuz if you like the way you look that much, you should go and love yourself_ ," ghosted across josh's lips as he slid into the driver's seat, pulling out of the parking lot and into the open street.


	9. chapter 9

"no."

"oh but-"

"tyler we are not getting a replica toy lightsaber."

tyler grumbled as josh dragged him away from the toy section by the arm like an angry suburban mom named susan.

"ooo candles," josh mused, turning to the large display of fall-themed scents. tyler groaned loudly.

"okay, mom," he said as he ripped the list from josh's other hand, stalking off to the food department of the store. josh's head snapped up from the orange candle he was looking at, chasing tyler.

they somehow gathered all the things they needed to in about an hour, getting in one of the very few lines open on the busy saturday afternoon. tyler grumbled under his breath.

"wanna get chipotle after this?" josh asked him, paying more attention to the headline on the tabloid in front of him.

"sure," came tyler's immediate and involuntary response. he browsed twitter for a short while, pausing when he heard a soft gasp come from josh.

"what is it?" he rested his head on josh's shoulder, craning his neck to see what the other one had been looking at.

"look at that, the sexiest man alive twenty-fifteen was given to david beckham," he mused. tyler just rolled his eyes, resuming his mindless scrolling.

-

all the food had been packed into their cabinets after a couple hours' hard work. tyler sighed as he heaved himself onto the island, happy to be done. _ding ding._ josh stood up from his place on the couch, walking to the door and talking to the person on the other side for a while.

_"oh, i'm terribly sorry!"_

_"it's fine, really!"_

there was a pause.

_"okay, thanks! have a nice day!"_

josh peeked around the wall dividing the front door from the kitchen.

"it was our neighbor," he started, stepping closer to tyler and setting a box next to him on the table.

"she said a box came to her house that must have been meant for ours," josh smiled, grabbing a pair of scissors from the drawer and cutting open the tape holding together the two flaps on top of the parcel.

tyler bent forward interestedly as josh pulled back the two sides. it was from his mom. he pawed through the things in the package, pulling out a letter and some things from his old house. while he read the letter, tyler checked over the contents, finding a bag of doritos, a fight club cd, a burned cd with the words _high school mix_ scrawled on it, and an old photo album full of pictures from josh's childhood. josh started chuckling under his breath, causing tyler to glance up.

"she lives across town, she could have just driven it here," he looked up from the paper he was holding to make eye contact with tyler, who also smiled.

"anyway, take whatever from the box, i don't mind," he hummed, starting to walk out of the kitchen. "actually," he said, turning on his heel. he leaned forward, snatching the bag of doritos and continuing his walk out of the kitchen. once he reached his room, he flopped down on his bed (which was really only a mattress on the ground at the moment), pulling out his phone and the paper the blond-haired girl had given him. _might as well give it a shot._


	10. chapter 10

two days later it was monday, and both tyler and josh were getting ready for work. josh seemed more distracted the past couple of days, and it annoyed tyler. 

"hi, earth to josh," tyler suddenly snapped that day after trying to tell him what he'd done the day before and josh couldn't seem to look up from his phone for more than two seconds. 

"mhm, that's nice tyler," he said, offering a small nod. 

"ugh!" tyler shouted in disgust, grabbing his jacket and striding out the door. 

"see you after work," he rushed out before slamming the door behind him, making his way quickly to the elevator to get to their shared car as fast as possible. 

_luckily my work is farther away_ he thought as he started the engine. they had worked out that josh could walk to work from the new place, as his job at the local record store was closer. tyler wasn't as lucky, working at the adoption center quite a few blocks away. he sighed, tapping out the beat to the song playing on the radio on the door of the car where his arm was resting. 

-

cats did not judge you, and that was tyler's favorite thing about them. he didn't have to care about how he looked or how angsty he was that day, the cats didn't care. they just wanted food. 

"me too guys," he muttered to himself as a hoard of cats followed him to the food closet. he grabbed the giant bag, dragging it across the floor and to the bowls. 

"shit," he muttered once more when he struggled at lifting it up. he heard a short laugh from behind him. 

"let me help you with that," his co-worker, patrick, said as he lifted up the other side of the bag to make it easier on tyler. 

"thanks, i'm not having the best day," tyler said after, running his hand through his somewhat grown out hair. _almost time to buzz it again._

"not a problem at all," patrick smiled at him, "want to actually go through the dog toys to see which ones can be kept and which ones are destroyed?" tyler shrugged.

"why not," he internally cringed at the idea though, prodding slobbery dog toys to see if they were good enough to keep. but it gave him something to do, and something to take his mind off of what had happened that morning. that was good. 

so, he walked to the other side of the building and started picking through dog spit. 

-

debby laughed from the other side of the counter, making heavy googly-eyes at josh. he could make this work. he could get over tyler. 

"yeah, and my grandpa always told me-" he started before the bell at the front of the store chimed, stealing his attention away. after a short time with no response, he craned his neck around. 

"hello?" he asked the seemingly empty store. debby had stepped aside and was now just staring at josh. he shrugged. 

"must have just been the wind or something. anyway-" he started once more, but was cut off when she leaned over the counter, grabbing the side of josh's face and kissing him. on the lips. 

tyler watched all of it from in front of the shop window. his vision blurred as he hopped in his car. 

_nonononononononononoNO._

he couldn't stop the thoughts. they crept up on him. they wouldn't leave. 

_you're worthless. josh wouldn't have liked you anyway. he's straight, and you're not. you're just a dumb dumb dumb invalid bisexual boy, whatever that is. ha, i bet josh only moved in with you out of pity anyway, it's not like anybody likes you._

"stop!" tyler was physically shouting at himself now that he was back at the apartment. 

he ran to the bathroom, throwing his things from work aside. 

the orange bottle. he had to find it. the one that made the voices stop. he wouldn't slip away this time. no no no he wouldn't. he couldn't. 

his hands shook as he poured out the pills, putting all but one back in the container. he threw his head back, dry swallowing the medication. he gasped slightly, bracing his hands on the sink as he stared at his reflection. his face was red and puffy, still bearing streaky water marks. his hair was sticking up in eighty different directions. it was way too long. the top button of his shirt had come undone somewhere between work and where he was currently, adding to his disheveled appearance. 

he heaved one last breath before trudging two rooms over, kicking josh's door on his way. 

"that's what you get," he said to himself, throwing the door shut behind himself and landing face first on his mattress.


	11. chapter 11

he woke to an absolute silence. he shifted uncomfortably, not sure what he was waiting for. after a while he sat up on his elbows, facing the wall at the top of his bed. he sighed gently, turning to the right. there was a note stuck to the hardwood next to his head. he grabbed it, recognizing josh's messy handwriting immediately. 

_went out. be back at 12. we need to talk._

tyler ran his hand through his hair again, breathing out heavily. 

"that'll be fun," he grumbled lowly, pulling his phone out from underneath the mattress. 10:33. man, he'd been sleeping for quite a while. 

grumbling still, he walked slowly to the kitchen. slowly made coffee. slowly browsed twitter. after his third cup of coffee he decided he was awake enough, trudging to his room and throwing on whatever he could find first. which happened to be one of josh's shirts that he had borrowed. sighing, he walked back over to the couch and waited nervously. 11:55. any minute now. 

-

the first thing he heard was the jingle of keys being jammed in the lock. second, josh's loud footsteps. the boy locked the door behind him, finally flipping to face tyler. 

"hey," he said in a small voice, scratching the back of his neck. when tyler didn't reply, he decided to continue. 

"so today i went on a date. with the neighbor. the blonde one," he chewed his lip as he shamefully looked up from the floor. "any thoughts?" he carefully treaded. tyler shrugged hostilely, a sinking feeling entering his stomach. 

"good for you. what's her name?" he tried to come across not quite as sad as he was. he wasn't 100% positive it was working. josh smiled lightly, not seeming to hear the underlying disappointment in his friend's voice. 

"it's debby," he made eye contact with tyler. "she's got this blonde hair and brown eyes this sick nose ring." tyler nodded slightly, trying to picture her again, even though that was really the last thing he wanted to do. 

"yeah, good for you dude, i'm glad you found a girl," tyler forced himself to smile as he stood up. 

"anyway, i'm gonna go write," he said, back facing josh. he walked down the hall, gulping to keep his tears in their place. just a few steps, then you can let it out. 

he threw himself into his desk chair, grabbing the moleskin notebook in the top right corner. he frantically flipped to an unused page, hovering his pen over the perfectly unmarked surface. 

_the_

_wow great start,_ tyler he thought sarcastically.

_the demon_

he laughed to himself quietly. 

_the demon sat on her porch_

somehow tyler had messed up josh's pronouns in his frenzy. he did a small shrug. _oh well._

_the demon sat there on her porch,_

he refined the line. 

_it was a bit dark_

_it was a little dark_

he struggled writing the next part. 

_it was a little dark so he turned on a flashlight, duh_

_it was a little dark so he used a torch. crazy brits._

_it was a little dark so he held a fake torch_

_it was a little dark so he held a makeshift torch_

perfect. surprised, he noticed a spot of slight discoloration. another one. he reached up to his face, water covering his fingers. how had he not noticed this? leaning away from his work, he let the tears fall. they formed a puddle on the floor, a tap resonating through the room with every drop of life. a short while passed. he sniffled quietly, shuffling forward in his chair to shut his journal. he'd finish another time, for now he was tired. tiptoeing to his room so as not to get josh's attention, he snuck through the door, gently shutting it and lying down. within seconds he was out, his normal insomnia all but forgotten for the night.


	12. chapter 12

josh watched as tyler posed his fingers above the piano, starting to tap out a heavy tune. after quite a long while of this, he sang a bit. 

_i know you're not a liar,_

_the words rang out in the large, wooden-floored room._

_and i know you could set fire,_

_this day,_

_go ahead and make me look away,_

josh was staring at tyler's intense expression. he was completely lost in the music. 

_strike me down,_

_i am calling your lightening,_

_down from your dark hiding place,_

he kept going for the duration of the song. josh noticed that this one was definitely heavier on the instrumentals. 

after he was done he looked up from the old piano timidly, awaiting a reaction. josh clapped, shouting a couple of times too. 

"i loved that one! nice piano playing!" he said, stepping over the bench so he was straddling it and sitting down. 

"i guess you could call me the _piano man_ ," tyler joked, starting to mindlessly play beethoven's fur elise. josh laughed, moving his other leg over the piano to allow him to face it. 

he picked at a few keys, playing out mary had a little lamb after quite a bit longer than it would have taken tyler. he giggled, showing josh how to play the first part of fur elise, holding his hands over josh's.

"okay, and this one," tyler gently pressed down on his finger, more focused on the piano than josh himself, who was staring intently at tyler's face. no. you have a girlfriend. stop. he turned his head back to the instrument and played back what tyler had shown him. 

"nice," tyler bowed away, walking out of the room. josh popped up off the bench, quickly chasing after him. 

"where are you going?" he asked somewhat disappointedly, watching tyler's back as he turned around. 

"hm? oh, i'm going to the kitchen. it's lunchtime dude," he said, waltzing forward once again. 

josh looked at a nearby clock, confused. oh. it was 12:30, somehow. they'd been in the music room all day, tyler playing some songs and josh drumming to a few. 

josh took a seat at the island, watching tyler find some ramen noodles and setting some water in a pan carelessly on the stove. 

"want some?" he asked, reaching to grab another. josh nodded. 

"too bad," he smirked, returning to his spot and scrolling through his phone. josh was taken completely off guard. 

"what?" he asked, more to himself than to tyler. 

"you heard me," tyler said, gesturing to the cabinet. "it's not like your legs are painted on," he rolled his eyes. josh got up confusedly, grabbing his own ramen, pan, and water. he set it on the stove next to tyler's. still confused, he lifted himself on to the countertop and sat on his phone, waiting for the water. tyler's was ready a few minutes before his. he stuck out his tongue childishly as he walked over to the island, perching himself on a stool and starting to eat. when josh had his he sat down next to the younger boy, still heavily confused. 

"so why couldn't you just throw another square on for me?" he asked. tyler laughed a little. 

"dunno." was all he said as he continued on his phone. josh was still confused as he threw his bowl in the sink, checking his lit up phone.

**Wanna go to dinner, J? ;)**

josh sighed. debby again. 

while he did like the girl (she was cool enough), she was definitely no tyler, and he definitely did not have a gigantic crush on her like he did his best friend. but sadly, that's all they were and all they would ever be: best friends. and he had to keep it that way. so he texted her back. 

**sure, sounds fun. where?**

he cringed slightly as he sent the text. all he really wanted that night was to watch a movie with tyler. he sighed as he plopped down on the couch far behind tyler. he washed the last of his tiny amount of dishes, placing them in the dishwasher and sitting next to josh. he faced the other boy, legs criss-crossed in front of him. josh would be damned if it wasn't the cutest thing he had ever seen. 

"what's up?" tyler asked gently, leaning forward onto his hand. josh sighed once more. 

"it's debby. she wants to go somewhere tonight but i just wanted to stay in with you today," he explained, mirroring tyler's sitting position. tyler nodded thoughtfully, looking off into space for a few seconds. 

"you know, you could always cancel," he smiled devilishly, looking back at josh. the entire time he had been looked away josh was still staring at his face, and he didn't have to change where he was looking even when tyler had moved back, but of course tyler hadn't noticed due to his thinking. josh shrugged. 

"i dunno. is that too rude?" he asked right as his phone buzzed. he picked it up from the couch, quickly scanning over the message. 

**Chipotle, your favorite!**

josh cringed once again at the long string of heart-eye emojis placed on the end. 

"what?" tyler immediately asked at his facial expression. 

"she just used a lot of emojis," he sighed in between the sentences, "but i guess i'll go."

**ok. pick me up at 6?**

he looked tired of trying to talk to her, which tyler took as a good sign. god, he's an awful person. he smiled once more. 

"guess that just means we'll have to do movies earlier."

josh smiled too.


	13. chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ok so there's actually a short maybe week long skip between this chapter and the last. i imagine chapter two starts the end of september and now it's the last week of november or whatever. something like that. jebby has been together for like six weeks. ok cool get on.

it was midway through his workday when it hit tyler: his birthday was in a week. he stopped petting the cat, standing up to think. he wondered suddenly what josh would get him. it's not like anybody else would remember his 22nd birthday other than the one who lived with him. he shrugged, turning his attention back to the cat. 

-

his birthday had finally arrived. naturally, it was on a friday, a day he had work. he sighed as he drove to work like any other day. that morning josh was already out of the apartment by the time he woke up. probably with debby. they'd been spending a lot more time together, and it surely didn't make tyler feel good. 

ever since that one day when they had watched movies together, it seemed like josh had been distancing himself more and more. it could have something to do with the fact that tyler had been undressing him with his eyes for half the time, but that was beside the point. he sighed as he got back to work, pouring the last of the large bag of cat food into the bowls. 

"hey tyler!" patrick had come up behind him, surprising him as he stood up. 

"oh hey pat, what's up?" tyler asked casually. 

"uh, it's your birthday, right?" he seemed less sure of himself now, furrowing his eyebrows. 

"yeah, i guess," tyler shrugged. patrick was just more confused. 

"are you not excited?" he tilted his head like a puppy. 

"eh," tyler shrugged once more. patrick, still heavily concerned, passed tyler a box with bright blue wrapping paper and a large white bow on top. 

"here's your present, you can open it now or whenever, really," he smiled, starting towards the door. 

"happy twenty-second!" 

-

tyler slammed the door behind him, exasperatedly twisting his key in the lock and sliding the deadbolt, flipping around. josh was stood in front of the couch with his mouth open wide, arms outstretched. tyler's eyes widened as he noticed mark, brendon, patrick, and pete. all of their friends from high school (which, admittedly, was quite few) were standing around in the living room, happy as ever. frankly, tyler didn't want to have to deal with it. he just wanted to drink an entire bottle of whiskey and never speak to anybody ever again. _not a bad idea._

"happy birthday!" josh shouted after quite an uncomfortable amount of silence. 

tyler just rushed forward for a quick hug, wrapping his arms around josh and parting only seconds later. when he was back to standing normally, he noticed brendon doing jazz hands behind josh, breaking out into giggles. 

"the party has arrived!" a voice called loudly from behind tyler. he quickly turned around. _wasn't the door locked?_ oh, it was. and jack barakat had his face crammed into the very small space between the doorframe and the door where the deadbolt was holding it in place. tyler muted his laughter as he walked over to jack, who was still shouting. 

"come and unlock the door i was expecting a lot smoother of an entrance," he said, and tyler could swear he heard more giggling from behind him. tyler pulled the deadbolt unlocked and jack closed the door, trying again. 

"the party has arrived!" he said once more, waltzing in grandly in traditional jack barakat style. trailing behind him was a slightly smaller boy with blue hair, holding two partially empty six packs of beer and a mostly full bottle of brandy. 

"woooo!" he cheered, continuing his giggling. tyler could easily deduce now that they were both drunk, as usual. 

jack turned on his heel quickly, bringing alex into a kiss and breaking away a few steamy seconds later. alex was bright red in the face, still laughing innocently. 

"cool," brendon said, taking both cardboard beer sleeves from him. 

"hey!" he yelled, suddenly back to reality. brendon snorted. 

"dude, you're not even twenty one yet," he rolled his eyes, grabbing one of the bottles and slamming the top against the counter quickly, popping the lid off. 

alex huffed quietly, crossing his arms indigently across his chest. jack swooped in, shoving him gently against the nearest wall and proceeding to kiss him. 

josh raised his eyebrows when tyler had turned his head to him, causing both of them to break out in to grins. deciding to join in on the fun, they both grabbed bottles of beer. 

-

"you know what?" alex hiccuped as the guests all escorted themselves out the front door. 

"what?" brendon mumbled almost incoherently.

"there's a good story at the bottom of this bottle," he said, gesturing to the bottle of brandy still on the counter that they'd finished off a while ago. brendon nodded. 

"yeah, yeah, but we really should have poured some champagne," brendon started, "you only turn twenty-two once, you know."

all of the people had shuffled out after a few minutes, patrick being the last, herding the boys like stray cats. 

"this was a fun party guys! stay safe, don't drive anywhere or accidentally drunk-dial people while i'm gone," he winked, ever-sober. he closed the door behind the small gathering of people, leaving tyler and josh alone once again. 

tyler turned to josh almost immediately after everybody had gone. seeing as he had a very low alcohol tolerance, he was regretfully drunk after only a few red cups of the brandy and one leftover beer. josh, however, drank a bit more, and after the same amount of alcohol was only slightly tipsy. 

man, tyler had just never noticed quite how beautiful josh looked in the slightly yellow-tinged light of their kitchen. both of the boys were zoned out thoughtfully, josh looking at the floor while tyler's attention was diverted towards him. 

suddenly, his entire body shook and convulsed. _hiccup._ josh burst out laughing even though it wasn't even that funny. tyler's delayed response occurred when he jumped up in the air after the other boy had scared him. he grabbed his chest, heavy breathing turning to loud laughter along with josh. 

"you know what josh?" he asked to himself more than to the boy across from him. 

"hm?" he hummed, taking a few gulps of his third glass bottle of beer. 

"i think i love you," he hiccuped as he walked down the hall and to the first door on the left, opening it up and landing on his bed. he nodded to himself as he pulled the covers over his drunken body. "yeah, i do."


	14. chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> implied vom lmao

tyler woke up with a pounding headache. he reached up to his forehead, pulling back his burning fingers quickly. very, very slowly he got himself into a sitting position, feet gently hitting the floor. neither tyler nor josh had a bed frame, they were definitely too lazy for that and kept putting off having to fit them into the tiny apartment doorways. eyes closed, he got up on to his feet, grabbing his phone off the charger on his way. he pried open his eyes. cringing internally, he trudged to the kitchen. by the time he'd finally gotten to one of the stools at the island to sit down, he saw josh rushing out the door and closing it briskly. he sighed, scrolling through the feed of whatever app had been opened most recently last night before it mysteriously appeared at his charger for the next morning. 

soon he realized josh wasn't home to baby him and his pounding headache, so he got up and grabbed a coffee mug from the cabinet above the machine. everything he was doing was taking three times that of a normal person so as to not disturb his headache too much. he sipped the cold coffee in front of the pot. he was so completely out of it that he didn't notice it was plain black coffee, one of his least favorite tastes ever. staring off into space, he tried to recall last night. patrick was there, of course. brendon was there also, as he seemed to always be. mark could have been there? tyler didn't really remember talking to him. that was it. no, there had to be somebody else. oh, right. jack and alex. tyler snorted to himself. they only have eyes for each other, anyway. they mostly just provide alcohol for the very few of the late-night parties that their friends occasionally held. and for themselves, of course. but what happened? the question plagued him for a few minutes as he polished off his coffee. tyler was pulled out of his own mind when his phone started its overly cheery ring from the spot right next to him. 

"'ello?" he asked the phone in a low voice, sliding the answer button before he could even read the caller ID. 

"hey! ty guy!" pete's loud voice boomed from the speaker. tyler couldn't help himself from groaning. 

" _dude_ ," he whispered, "not cool." 

"sorry," he lowered his volume guiltily, but he continued on with whatever he was going to say originally in a trademarked quick fire spew of words. 

"you 'n josh, party at mine, 8 tonight. you in?" he asked. tyler didn't like how he spoke so to-the-point on a normal day, and he simply couldn't stand it when he was this unwell. 

"i don't think so, sorry pete, gotta go," he pulled the phone from his face, hitting the red button before he could hear the blonde's reply. getting drunk again didn't seem like that bad of an idea, though, if he could shake this hangover by tonight. 

he, like any rational person, did not particularly enjoy the horrible head and stomach pain that came after heavy drinking, but he did like how he didn't have to think when he was drunk. it was an escape. 

bored, he took a few strides forward, forgetting the pounding behind his forehead in his short thought, gasping and reaching up to grab his head in his hand. _oh god._ he ran to the bathroom at the end of the hall, ignoring his pain and kneeling over the toilet. after expelling his stomach waste, he felt a bit better, pushing himself from the floor and flushing the toilet. glancing at himself quickly in the mirror, he left the bathroom, wandering into the designated music room. absentmindedly, he grabbed his ukulele and tried to think of a song. after a while, he angrily strummed out a c chord. that dumb elvis song was the only thing he could manage to think of right now. 

" _wise men say_ ," he sang along quietly, starting to translate the song to his small instrument. by late afternoon he'd gotten it, yawning and going back to the kitchen. still no josh, which tyler was having a small mental debate about. he hadn't decided wether it was a good or bad thing yet. he decided to end his dumb little spat, starting to raid the fridge for something to eat. spending a few hours messing with his ukulele seemed to have sobered him completely up. just then, the door opened up. it was josh, and he was laughing. _oh._ there was somebody with him. _oh._ they were holding hands. tyler swallowed, despite his mouth being aggressively dry suddenly. _her._

"hey," josh managed to stop laughing for long enough to say something to tyler, who feebly waved. 

"i'm debby!" she held out her hand amiably, tyler imperceptibly flinching backwards but putting his right hand forward anyways, nodding.

"tyler," he choked out, forcing a smile. debby retracted herself right back up to josh's side. _gee, stand a little closer you two._

"i wanted you to meet her, since you're my best friend and all," josh smiled once more, turning to debby, who was "awww"ing away. _suck up._

"yeah, she seems great. anyway, i'll leave you guys to it, i was just about to go anyway," tyler lied through his teeth, and josh knew it. he was in sweatpants and an old grouplove hoodie, but whatever. it's not like he cared. he just wanted to get away from josh. almost jogging to the end of the hall, he snatched a pen from one of the drawers of his desk and the moleskin notebook untidily shoved on to the stacks of paper piled on it. 

he grabbed his keys from the table, avoiding eye contact with josh up until his very last motion of opening and closing the door, when he managed to see josh's eyes narrowed in a glare aimed directly towards him. with the last shred of light he could see through the doorway he managed to see josh wrap his left arm around debby just a bit tighter, pulling her body closer to his. he leaned into her slightly, kissing her. "i love you".


	15. chapter 15

tyler didn't bother to use the car, he knew he'd be getting drunk later and no matter how much he hated himself he wouldn't put other people in danger like that. his heavy footsteps echoed over the snowy streets. they were fairly empty, only the occasional car coming from one of the side streets. he clicked his pen inside his hoodie pocket to the beat of his footsteps. 

_if you get between someone i love and me, you're gonna feel the heat of my cavalry._ the thought came randomly as he was walking, and he couldn't shake the idea out of his head. _probably because it's true._

starting his long night, he opened the door of whatever cafe was right next to where he had been walking. he sat down at one of the tables nearest the far corner, staying as far away from people as he could be. digging around in his pocket a bit, he fished out the pen and the small notebook. he set it on the table gently, making as little noise as possible. flipping to a random empty page, he clicked his pen back out. the pen hovered over the blank canvas as he thought of what to write. while he was still waiting for the ideas to come forth, he heard footsteps click loudly on the tiled floor, seemingly getting louder. 

"hello, do you want anything to drink?" the blonde-haired barista asked. tyler knew for a fact this wasn't a sit-down place, so this must have been her feeble attempt at conversation. tyler also knew for a fact, though, that without buying anything he could get kicked out of the restaurant for loitering. 

"uh, yeah, sure, what about a pumpkin spice latte? a small?" he sighed out, turning his head back to his work. she opened her mouth briefly, then closed it again. 

"alright," she said somewhat uncertainly. "that'll be two dollars and fifteen cents?" she raised her voice at the end, like it was a question. tyler sighed once more, dropping the pen to the empty sheet of paper and reaching into his pocket once more. he drew out his wallet, handing her a five. 

"keep the change," he blurted out before she could say anything. she nodded, walking back to the counter to make the drink. he tapped his pen against the paper gently, tainting its clean surface. after watching the black dots cover the corner of the sheet, he started to do it purposefully, filling up about a fourth of the paper before the barista finally returned. and she had two cups. she set one down in front of tyler and kept the other in her hand, taking the seat across from him as hers. 

"what brings you here?" she asked, taking a small sip of her hot coffee. 

"i-what? why do you care?" tyler asked, suddenly apprehensive. he slammed closed the top of his journal, grabbing his drink for warmth. she simply shrugged, her piercing blue eyes finally managing to meet tyler's. 

"just wondered. you did come in in quite a hurry, and choose the seat farthest away from all of the people in here," she pointed out. she did have him there. 

"fine. if you really must know, my friend is having a cute date night with his girlfriend in our apartment," saying it left a sour taste in his mouth that he tried to wash away with the sickly sweet taste of pumpkin. the girl across from him nodded, to which he snorted. "like you get it."

"no, i really do. my best friend got a boyfriend once, it was the worst year of my life," she kind of laughed in a tense way. "anyway, the name's jenna. yours?" 

"tyler," he responded simply, studying her face. she had a very calculated style, like every little detail of everything she did was planned out meticulously. she placed her elbow on the table, extending her hand towards tyler as if to shake. he blinked down at her hand, but quickly realized she was stubborn, begrudgingly putting his hand forward as well. she grabbed it of course, shaking his hand in a pretty odd manner. 

"right," tyler said, withdrawing his hand and continuing to drink out of the white cup he had been given. he subtly moved down the cardboard sleeve covering the logo of the place, seeing quite a large and angry looking bear head on the side, the words reelbearcoffee printed both above and below it in true starbucks fashion. jenna noticed him reviewing the label, chuckling slightly. 

"yeah, i'm still not totally sure why it's called that and i'm the manager," she said almost wistfully, taking yet another drink of her coffee. how it wasn't gone yet tyler was still unsure. as if on cue, she shook around the cup in her hand, closing one eye and peeping into the hole on the edge of the lid.

"the end of my coffee bids my goodbye," she said as she stood up. she carefully scooted her chair in, avoiding eye contact. on her way back to the register, she leaned over and kissed tyler's head. he tensed up immediately, unsure if she was getting the wrong vibe from him or if that was some weird maternal instinct. either way, he was packed up and out of there in three minutes. 

-

**tw heavy drinking yea**

the second place of the night happened to be the all-day bar just around the corner, where tyler ordered a glass of the strongest whiskey they had. way to start off light. in ten minutes, about half of his 20 ounce cup was gone. then he remembered it was 3 pm on a saturday. not like he cared. he downed the rest of it, then stared down at the blank page that'd intimidated him all day. taco bell sounded great right about now. 

_fast food. greasy. taoc. i love._

_nacho bell grand_

tyler vaguely wondered if anything he was writing made sense, but shrugged it off. 

_i like your nachos. man i really, like taco belle._

he was watching as the short black-haired man next to him ate his nachos, talking to some dude sitting on his other side. he needed more to drink. 

"excuse me," he flagged down the blue-haired bartender. "can i have a bottle of like, the strongest beer you have?" he hiccuped. she laughed, nodding and grabbing one swiftly from behind her. tyler handed her a ten and she gave back the change.

"thank you!" he said very childishly, dragging out the o in you. she laughed once more, saying it was really no problem. the man he'd been watching earlier turned to face him, also having a chuckle at how child-like he looked with his legs crossed and swinging in the tall bar stool. 

"mate, want some nachos or something? you've been here for like twenty minutes and you've drank a lot of alcohol, which i'm not sure is very healthy," he finally spoke to tyler, rotating his body so his back wasn't facing him. out from behind him poked the head of a slightly taller boy with bright red hair. 

"oh that would be very nice of you! and, um, yeah, sure!" tyler stuttered back, to which the dude smiled. the bartender from earlier was standing nearby as he said it, so the man didn't have to say anything before she was off and grabbing another order of nachos from the kitchen. 

"my name is frank by the way, and this is my... friend gerard," he said, gesturing to the nosey figure from behind him, who waved slightly but kept his eyes on tyler. he had a sneaking suspicion that frank's hesitation before the word friend indicated that something was up, but he said nothing. the woman working the bar returned again, prompting frank to get his money from his pocket and hand it to her. 

tyler ate his nachos quietly, thinking about all of his pent up rage from debby. _josh probably likes her more than you. i'm mad that she's so pretty. she's charismatic and great and pretty much everything josh wants, the least she could do for you is be okay looking._

after he was done with his small order of food, he wandered out to the floor of the bar. luckily frank didn't notice, he was too busy shoving his tongue in his... friend's mouth. almost immediately somebody was in front of tyler. he had bright, bright red hair, even brighter than josh's, and his breath smelled very heavily of alcohol. 

"hey," he said, giggling intensely afterwards. tyler thought he could hear a hint of some sort of odd accent in his voice. 

"so my friend over there"-he gestured to somewhere behind him, but tyler didn't look-"he dared me to kiss you! is that alright?" he slurred, smiling goofily. tyler just shrugged, throwing his arms around the dude's neck and quickly kissing him, walking off towards the exit. from where he'd come from he'd heard loud hooting and high-five noises. as he was about to reach the door he caught a snippet of frank's voice. 

"we're coming with you!" he said, walking out the door closely following tyler. gerard was behind him, holding his hand shyly. 

"why do so many people have red hair? josh, the dude i just kissed, and you too," tyler asked it more to himself, but frank's eyes bulged. 

"woah, you just kissed a dude?" he asked tyler in disbelief. tyler shrugged once more. 

"yeah, i guess. it was kind of revenge though," frank smiled devilishly at his short explanation.

"give us the details right now."

-

"yeah! three cheers to sweet, sweet revenge!" frank shouted, bumping beer glasses with both tyler and gerard before lowering his arm, chugging part of the mug. tyler laughed heartily, piss-drunk and having a great time. they were in a different place now, a club actually, and tyler was having fun without josh for the first time in years. 

they partied until late evening time*, gee and tyler being escorted out by none other than frank himself. he was the least drunk out of all of them, surprisingly. _he must drink a lot, then, unlike me,_ tyler thought as he hiccuped to the door of the noisy club. 

"this party is way too loud, i think," gerard mumbled on their way out. frank got them outside before withdrawing his arm from around tyler, still supporting gerard heavily. 

"so, you can get home good?" he asked, trying to focus on tyler as gee leaned over to his neck, starting to bite at the skin there. tyler chuckled a little bit before responding. 

"yeah, thanks for the fun night guys! and also your numbers, that was cool too," he said as he waved at them, making his way home. he watched his own feet as he stumbled in the general direction of their apartment. 

:.:.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *its like 7 ok


	16. chapter 16

tyler threw open the door of the apartment, raising his arms and calling happily "i'm hoooome!"

josh was snuggled under a few blankets on the couch, and tyler was taking wobbly steps to join him when he shot up, looking a bit more angry than tyler would have liked.

"where have you been?"

"i-i was out, b-because you were with debby, and..." tyler was shrinking into himself, starting to feel bad about his decisions.

"i was worried about you! you've been gone for like-" he passed a glance behind tyler to the oven clock "-five or six hours! and you weren't responding to your texts or anything!" tyler furrowed his eyebrows a bit.

"but that's exactly what you did when i woke up? i'm confused."

"if you would have texted me i would have responded though! this isn't like you, tyler!"

"well you haven't quite been yourself recently either!" josh was caught up on this statement, mouth moving but no words coming out. he was suddenly deadly calm.

"yeah? well maybe you don't know me then, tyler," he said, striding off into his room and slamming the door shut behind him.


	17. chapter 17

"hey," tyler said as soon as brendon opened the door of his apartment.

"hi?" he was waiting for some sort of explanation. tyler took a deep breath.

"josh and me had a fight and i-" before he could finish brendon had wrapped an arm around his back, drawing him into a hug. tyler couldn't help but sob into his shoulder, being pulled unconsciously into brendon's apartment. he could hear muted talking between him and his roommate, of which tyler didn't know the identity. _doesn't he have a girlfriend?_

"hey, yeah, so he can take that room?" bits of the conversation floated to his ears as he was still being pressed to brendon's chest. "thanks, love you," he finished, letting tyler move his head back a bit.

"so you're gonna be in this room-you do want to stay here right?" brendon kept his voice low and gentle, speaking slowly so tyler could catch it all. he nodded a little bit. brendon smiled, nodding back and guiding tyler to the room he was talking about earlier.

it wasn't a guest room or anything, it had a drum set and a couple guitars hung on the walls. brendon stepped away from tyler for a few seconds, leaving the room and coming back with two blankets and a pillow. he threw them on the floor and turned to tyler.

"yeah, so you can crash in here, sorry for the instruments, but just arrange the blankets or whatev-" he was cut off by tyler drunkenly falling into the soft heap, snoring away. brendon chuckled, kicking the pile around a bit to at least cover him slightly in the cold ohio winter.

"sleep tight buddy, hope josh comes to his senses for you."

-

tyler's heart rate sped up almost the second he woke up in an unfamiliar place. _what happened last night? oh god, did i have a one night stand? please be no._ he slowly pried open one eye, seeing brendon's recognizable shag-carpeted floors and the front of his drum set. he was instantly calmed, yawning and sitting all the way up. he could hear faint whistling from the other room, giving him reason to stand up and leave the room, greeted by the smell of pancakes.

"glad you're up, buttercup," brendon said, tipping the pancake pan towards a plate and perfectly hitting the center, offering it to tyler. he raised his eyebrows, coming forward and accepting the breakfast thankfully.

"got any syrup, or, like, forks?" tyler asked, staring blankly at his very plain pancake. brendon laughed a bit, gesturing vaguely to some drawer. as tyler rummaged through the silverware, he realized it was only polite to explain his situation. he took a deep breath.

"so, about last night," he started, "i was hella drunk, and i got home and josh was very much not happy about that. we had a little fight and he was very angry, but so was i, so i left and i went here. i just hope i don't have to move back into my parent's place. i don't want to have to take my name off the lease. i really hope that at least ryan can do that if it comes to it though, even this soon into the contract."

brendon had gone rigid when he mentioned ryan.

"this ryan, is he ryan ross?" his tone was cold, movements more robotic.

"uh, yeah, i believe so. he's our realtor," tyler explained, confusedly looking up at brendon. he had his lips drawn into a straight line, nodding cooly.

"i see," he said blankly, sliding a paper plate with another pancake on it on the counter. then tyler remembered high school, when brendon and ryan had been dating. they were the school's golden couple, the perfect image of teenage love and innocence. then ryan had done something completely unforgivable that nobody but brendon seemed to know about, and tyler could remember clearly that the entire school was shaken by the news of their break up.

"sorry man," he whispered, hanging his head in shame. brendon relaxed a bit, responding a bit late to his apology.

"'s fine," he said briefly. tyler could hear a door opening and gentle footsteps coming from behind him. he turned around, seeing a girl walking slowly to the kitchen. tyler furrowed his eyebrows, gently flipping back to brendon in confusion. he was facing her and smiled, handing her the other pancake he had made before his short burst of anger.

"sarah," he nodded his head towards her, "tyler," he jerked his head in tyler's direction, and he stopped eating shortly to nod and smile at sarah. she smiled back, ripping up the plain pancake on her plate and stuffing it in her mouth, watching brendon start to clean up.

they kept the silence up for a while until all three of them had eaten their fill of food. tyler thanked the two and then trudged regretfully to the room he had stayed in the night before. surely enough, as he was worried about, his phone was lit up with text notifications. upon closer inspection, he noticed that the times of them all spanned from ten last night to seven this morning, when they all seemed to give up on him responding.

**did you make it home safely?**

the first on the list was from frank. tyler smiled at his compassion even though they didn't even know each other that well yet.

**sorry.**

tyler blinked a few times. that couldn't have been josh, and only a few hours after he had left.

**shit.**

**did you at least end up somewhere safe?**

**tyler please**

**i hope you're at one of our friends places**

**im so sorry.**

**you can leave if you want, just tell me what time to be gone and you can pick up your stuff.**

the most recent of them had been sent this morning, the others scattered throughout the night.

his mouth was actually open, stuck in a permanent state of shock until brendon came up behind him, shaking his shoulder a bit.

"want a ride back?"

to which tyler could only nod.


	18. chapter 18

josh. his arms were wrapped around tyler's middle tightly. his eyes were wet. the stains covered the neckline of his shirt. "i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry". an arm around his back. calmer. "it's okay, i forgive you". calm.

josh pulled his head back from where it was buried in tyler's neck.

"i-i'll leave," he said, avoiding eye contact with tyler by looking at the floor shamefully. tyler shook his head.

"no, it's fine. we can both stay. i don't want to leave," tyler said. josh titled his head upwards, confusion clear on his features.

"you really don't?" he was genuinely wondering why tyler would still want to spend any time with him, even after what he'd said and done to him. but that's what love does.

"yeah, we still haven't gotten a cat, or had an april fool's prank off, or even played uno in this apartment yet," tyler said, shaking his head. "it's too early for me to leave."

josh smiled brightly, hugging tyler again. but this one was shorter, more happy.

"me-me and debby. we broke up last night," josh awkwardly scratched his neck, face once again angled towards the floor.

"why? i thought you guys were doing good?" tyler furrowed his eyebrows at his lack of emotion on the subject. they had been dating for a while, he thought he'd been more attached.

"yeah, that's the thing," he started, "she, uh, she was more into it than me." he chose his words very carefully so as to not reveal anything, but unfortunately for josh, tyler was very perceptive.

"what do you mean? what was holding you back?" he asked curiously.

"you," josh mumbled, stepping away from tyler and lifting himself into a sitting position on the island.

"what? i couldn't hear you," tyler said, following josh closer to the kitchen.

"it was you," josh said the next words as he crossed his left leg over his right and back again in nervousness. tyler paused for a second, processing what he had said.

"what does that mean?" he smiled, realizing the full meaning before josh had even said it.

"like, that i'm in love with you or something," his face was bright red. tyler rushed forward, picking josh up off the counter and spinning him around in the air a few times. josh raised an eyebrow when tyler set him down, questioning his random burst of excitement.

"me too!" he yelled excitedly.

josh smiled, leaning his forehead against tyler's. they were in a comfortable embrace, tyler's arms strongly securing josh to his place in front of him.

"is that why you blew off everybody who asked you out in high school?" josh whispered at him. he nodded his head slightly against josh.

"why'd you tell debby you loved her last night?" despite still having very hazy memories of what had happened last night, he definitely remembered that. josh went rigid under his touch, pulling his head back a bit and looking tyler in the eyes.

"honestly, it was to spite you. i don't really think i loved her, my heart was already occupied," he explained. tyler nodded a bit and josh replaced his forehead to where it once was, starting to sway. tyler moved with him in perfect time, dancing to a silent song together with one heartbeat.

-

"josh get out here right now or i swear to the lord above i will-" tyler was cut off by josh appearing at his side and kissing him.

"relax," he said, grabbing tyler's hand. they were at jack and alex's wedding, something nobody there was really expecting. while they had been together for roughly six years, everybody knew that both of them were poor as hell. somehow they were there though, and somehow tyler and josh had still gotten an invite. this was the first wedding tyler had been to that featured a full selection bar and no actual entrees, but he wasn't complaining.

a little girl of about six walked up to the both of them, looking up into their faces.

"are you two married like uncle jack?" she asked them innocently. tyler's eyes widened a bit, nervously laughing.

"uhm, no, but we are together," he said to her. she smiled widely.

"you guys are a good couple," she said offhandedly as she skipped away. josh smirked at tyler, leaning his head on his shoulder.

"a good couple, huh?" he moved his eyes to meet tyler's, locked in an unspoken staring contest.

"a good couple indeed," tyler said, kissing josh's forehead and looking out at the wedding guests.

"what a beautiful wedding!" tyler could hear brendon from a couple yards off, speaking loudly with the grooms. alex was laughing, fingers intertwined with jack's.

there was little kids running around wildly, enjoying the outdoor venue that they had chosen. tyler inhaled deeply at the serenity of it all, stopping when he felt josh's eyes on him once again.

"what now?" he mumbled over to his boyfriend in a surprisingly kind manner.

"i love you," josh said, lazily placing a kiss on his cheek.

"i love you too," tyler replied, taking josh along with him by the hand to the seats arranged in front of the altar.

they sat in the back, joking and messing with each other the entire duration of the vows. when the last words had been spoken and everybody was filing out of the fold-up chairs and into the large building where the reception was taking place, tyler and josh noticed a high volume of people were throwing angry looks their way. it was probably for interrupting in their quiet little way, which tended to annoy everybody in a five-foot radius. for this reason, they didn't tend to have many other friends. but that didn't matter. they had each other.

:.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaand we're done. follow me on wattpad @frozenburritos for my recently updated fics; i use AO3 as an archive for all my completed works. stay alive, and see you next time.


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